


Hangovers, Heavy Dogs, Knives and Promises

by GentlyMorbid



Series: The Slightly Less Average Lives of Alana and Margot Verger-Bloom [6]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: F/F, Had to change the ending because it was too extreme, angsty, but mostly sad, cute as well, even for me, very much so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 10:13:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5739775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GentlyMorbid/pseuds/GentlyMorbid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Margot and Alana deal with the aftermath of New Year's Eve. Well, first Margot has to get rid of her hangover...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hangovers, Heavy Dogs, Knives and Promises

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally publishing this! My beta did not have access to internet for a while, which was torture for both of us. 
> 
> She was not happy with my original ending, and after some introspection, neither was I, because it involved Margot attempting suicide and then I would have had to hospitalise her and then write extra characters and then institutionalise her but I don't know how that process works, so to save myself a lot of trouble, I made the ending much happier.
> 
> Also, this way, I get to have more time to make them suffer!

The first thing Margot noticed when she recovered consciousness was that she felt like someone was trying to crush her skull. She groaned lightly, not having enough willpower in her to protest louder. Alana stirred next to her, blinking bleary eyes.

“Judging by your moaning, I’d say it’s not a very good morning, is it, Margot? Starting the year off grumpy already?” Alana smiled. Margot responded by putting a pillow over her head, “Would you be so kind as to shoot me? At least I’d die quicker and it would be less painful.” Alana laughed, “Sorry, dear, I’m afraid the engagement is compulsory. But I do have some tablets for you to take. They should work in twenty minutes, give or take, and you won’t even know your headache is gone until it’s a distant memory.”  

Margot removed the pillow, squinting her eyes against the light that seemed way too bright, “Sure, babe. Hey, could you do me a favour and turn the light off?” Alana responded, “No can do, honey. That’s the sun you’re talking about. Can’t turn it off that easily.”

Margot made a noise to indicate that she was upset, “Well, at least get me those tablets!” Feeling that Alana had not moved, she amended, “Pretty please, princess?”

Alana nodded, not that Margot could see her, and got up to start the healing process for her fiancé’s hangover. As soon as Margot had ingested the tablets, Alana was pushing her out of bed, “Come on, Margot, no sense in lying around all day. It’s the first day of the New Year, you need to enjoy it!”

Margot sulked, “I am enjoying it. In bed. You should enjoy it here with me.” Alana raised an eyebrow, “Are you coming on to me, darling?” Margot scoffed, “Are you kidding? Of course not! I’m not in the mood for fun when my head has been split open!” Alana made a sad face, “Aw, is my little Margot feeling bad?” Margot shot her a dark look, “No.” She mumbled, “I’m feeling appropriately for a hangover!”

Alana pulled on Margot’s arm, “Come on, Margot! Don’t make me get Applesauce!” Margot’s reply was muffled. She had hidden herself under the duvet. Alana hummed to herself as she walked downstairs, meeting Applesauce halfway. “Come on, let’s go wake up mommy” Alana said. Applesauce barked happily, wagging her tail, as she bounded up the stairs and into their bedroom.

An “oomph” was heard, as Alana walked leisurely into the room. Applesauce had made a running leap and landed right on top of Margot, who was now out of the covers being assaulted by Applesauce’s large tongue. “Alana, get your daughter off me!” Margot complained irately. Alana replied sweetly, “She’s your daughter, too, darling. And if you can’t manage it yourself, I’m afraid you’re stuck with her.”

Margot groaned in mock despair, seemingly annoyed, but actually enjoy the dog kisses being showered upon her. She grabbed Applesauce by the neck and pulled her down for a forehead kiss. Applesauce was even more excited at the response. Maybe she would get to play with her mom after all! She yapped excitedly and decided that she had enough of kissing, instead choosing to lie down next to Margot on her back, allowing access for a much enjoyed belly rub.

As Margot scratched away, she looked at Alana, “I’m sorry for being such a pain this morning. You know how I am with hangovers, and while that’s no excuse, I do feel terrible.” Alana’s eyes widened a fraction, “Don’t be ridiculous, Margot. You barely did anything. Why do you act like you committed a mortal sin?”

Margot looked down, “I guess I’m trying to make up for whatever I might have done last night. I feel like something happened yesterday, even if I can’t remember it.” Alana sighed softly, “Okay. Yes, maybe there are a couple of things we need to talk about, but that can wait until after your hangover goes away. I don’t want to aggravate it unnecessarily.”

“Aha”, Margot said, “So I did do something. I hope I didn’t destroy anything or run outside naked.” Alana shook her head in amusement, “No, baby, it wasn’t that.” Changing her mind about making her fiancé get out of bed and taking mercy on her, Alana bade Margot, “You rest for now. You let me know when you feel better and then we’ll talk, alright?”

Margot nodded and yawned, “Alright, Alana. I guess I’m a bit more tired than I thought. Can you leave Applesauce with me? She gives nice cuddles.” Alana nodded, “Okay, Margot. Sweet dreams.” She didn’t expect a reply, because Margot was already snoozing softly, with Applesauce looking like she was about to join her.

Alana would give them a few hours, and if they didn’t wake up and come down on their own, she would go get them. Besides, once all distraction was gone, she realised that she still needed some time to work through the events of last night. She straightened and walked down the stairs after retrieving the knife roll from Margot’s drawer, heading for the table where the objects of last night’s turmoil were then placed. They lay on the table innocuously, as if their presence were of no consequence, when in fact, they yielded the greatest consequences of all.

 

* * *

 

Applesauce opened her eyes and yawned. She looked at Margot, who was still sleeping, and opted not to wake her. She could tell that her mother was tired. Instead, she got up, stretched and shook herself off. Then she trotted downstairs to find her other mother.

She found Alana sitting, gazing at something she could not see, with an anguished look on her face. She whined, sensing her mother’s distress, and went to place her head on Alana’s knee. Scratching at Applesauce’s head absently, Alana sighed. She picked her canine daughter off the ground and sat her on her lap, almost buckling under her weight. Alana resolved not to pick her up again anytime soon. Applesauce licked Alana’s face, which had started producing wet, salty tears.

Alana buried her face into Applesauce’s fur, crying silently. Applesauce could only sit there, licking Alana and whining in sympathy. She hated watching, and sensing, sadness. Especially coming from her mothers. That was bad.  Applesauce tried to make bad things go away.

She gently jumped off Alana’s lap and went to get her favourite toy, a felt dinosaur. She offered it to Alana: maybe she would be happy if they played together. Her mother was always happy when they played. Alana shook her head, but whispered “thank you” to Applesauce. The dog took that as a sign, wagging her tail slightly, jaws wide open, as Alana smiled thinly at the display.

“Oh, Applesauce. I love you so much. Thank you, darling.” Alana spoke softly to Applesauce, who nuzzled her hand in response. Alana threw the toy dinosaur, which went soaring up high into the air. As it descended, Applesauce jumped as high as she could, snatching her toy in her jaws as it fell towards her.

Applesauce was good at distracting her parents. She knew it and so did they. Both of them welcomed it right then, even though only one of them was enthusiastic about it. Applesauce dropped the toy in Alana’s hand, ready for round two. Alana obliged. This time, Applesauce had to run across the room to follow the dinosaur. She grabbed it and ran back to her mom in record time.

Panting slightly, she went to her water bowl to have a long, cool drink of water. She looked at Alana, cocking her head, suggesting that she do the same. Alana seemed to interpret her movement and went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

As she returned, she almost ran into Margot, who startled, nearly making Alana lose her drink all over the both of them. “Jeez, Alana, what kind of a reception was that?” Margot joked. Alana, still recovering from her brief shock, spoke harshly, “Well, it wouldn’t have happened if you had seen where you were going!” Margot’s tone softened, “Hey, Alana, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry I scared you.”

Alana, feeling rather stupid, tried for an apology, “No, no, it’s alright, Margot. I’ve just been distracted and _I_ was the one not looking where I was going. Can you forgive me?” Margot was astonished. Maybe Alana was drunk, what with all the dramatics. Well, she could play that game, too.

“Of course I forgive you, silly!” Putting on a horrendous fake English accent and deepening her voice, Margot continued, “You need not apologise for this most minor of transgressions, my lady!”

Alana giggled, despite herself, taking Margot’s proffered arm and letting her be escorted into the lounge room, where they sat together, content for the time being.

Margot broke the comfortable silence by asking, “So what _did_ happen last night, Alana? I’m more curious to know than anything else.” Alana breathed deeply, “Do you want the funny part or the sad part?” Margot thought about it, “Well, I suppose the bad will outweigh the good, so let’s go the comedic route, shall we?”

Alana rolled her eyes, “Well… I should have recorded it to show you, but it was a spur of the moment thing on your behalf.” Margot bounced on the couch impatiently, “Just tell me, Alana!” Alana acquiesced, “Very well. There’s no sugar coating it, I suppose.” At Margot’s mock stern look, she continued, “You got very drunk, as you know, but what you don’t know is… you proposed to me last night. With your own engagement ring.”

Margot’s eyes widened comically, and then she burst out laughing, “No way! You’ve got to be kidding, Alana! I proposed?! _Again_?! I’m so impressed! With _my_ ring?” Alana sighed. Leave it to Margot to actually admire her own drunken behaviour. Alana pressed on, “Are you sure you don’t remember anything?” Margot snorted, “Hey, I’m pretty sure I would have known if I had proposed to you!”

Alana cleared her throat, “However, there was something else that you brought me when you were intoxicated.” Alana’s face fell and, at Margot’s questioning look, she gestured at the table. Margot got up, curious to see what was on the table that could make Alana look so miserable, when she stopped dead and her insides froze.

On the table were her knives. Her precious tools. The implements that she turned to in her times of need, to help calm her. To see them brought out and displayed like that felt like a perversion. It was like the rest of her secrets were out in the light for everyone to gaze upon. Margot felt her heart drop into her stomach, as she brushed her fingers lightly over the knives. She looked back to Alana, devastated. Alana looked back at her, as equally distraught.

Margot whispered, “Oh no. No, no, no. Oh god, no. How did this happen?”

Alana’s voice rang clear and precise, “You brought them to me last night. You did. You told me it was something you needed to do.” Margot had starting crying, “No, I would never have! Those are secret! No one was s-supposed to-to k-know!”

Alana had an air of sympathy around her, “You didn’t want anyone to find out about what you were doing to yourself, either. I’m so sorry, Margot. I’m sorry all this happened. But now, we have to deal with it. Together.” Margot nodded, and made to come towards Alana, before grabbing the knife roll and fleeing the room.

Instantly alert, Alana got up and tried to run after her, but doubled over in pain, as her hip and back flared, causing immense agony. She regretted picking up Applesauce, because now she was paying the price for it. Too high a price, in her mind.

She knew what would happen if Margot made it to the bedroom. She was not going to allow her sweetheart to hurt herself! But, alas, she was too late. The door had slammed in her face and locked. There was no key to enter, there was no way Alana was kicking down the door and there was no way Margot wouldn’t hurt herself now, with no one to stop her. Alana started to cry in despair and fear. The house was silent, save for the sounds of Alana’s pain. No one could save her Margot now. Not even her.

 

* * *

 

Leaning against the door, Alana spoke desperately, “Margot, please! Don’t do this! I love you!” Margot paused inside the room, hesitant to continue. Her knife was poised above her thigh, but she couldn’t find the will to continue, with her future wife crying out for her.

Trying to focus, she starting crying, as she struggled with the blade. She didn’t know what to do. She felt like the knife was calling to her, as if promising to cleanse the poison within her. As she went to press the knife to her skin, Alana cried out, “Please, Margot, open the door! I can help you! Let me in!”

Margot jerked the knife away, briefly coming to her senses. Managing to gather just enough willpower, she dropped the knife on the floor, but did not move. She let out a feral scream of pure pain and frustration, which was heard by Alana, who yelled, “NO! Margot, please stop! This won’t help you!”

Margot, crying freely now, replied, “I’m… I’m okay, A-Alana. I haven’t… yet. But I…” In between heaving gasps, she continued, “I don’t know how long I can handle it. Please, help me. It hurts so much! I want it to stop!”

Alana nodded, though Margot couldn’t see it, “I know, darling, I know. Now, just come over and unlock the door. Let me in so I can help you, sweetie.” Margot shook her head, “I… Okay. Okay, I’ll do it.”

Forcing herself to stare ahead at the door, Margot stood up and summoned every bit of strength she had to physically drag herself to the door. Halfway there, she stopped, looking back at her discarded knives. Part of Margot knew that their promises were lies, but the other part wanted to use them. Deep down, she knew that she would always feel the knives calling to her. But, for now, she was going to choose Alana, even if she killed herself trying.

She looked back at the door, speaking to Alana, “I want to go to you, I really do. But I don’t know if I can make it.” Alana spoke softly and reassuringly, “Margot, you can do it. I believe in you. You’re better than this. I know you think this is who you are, and maybe it is, but you can fight your urges this time. Fight with me. I swear I’ll protect you, even if it kills me!”

Margot shuddered internally. Alana had no idea that Margot had similar thoughts. Maybe they would both die trying. Who knew? Margot certainly didn’t. But she was willing to find out. She reached out slowly and grasped the door handle, unlocking it. Then her vision went black, as the door opened and Alana was hugging her tight, unwilling to let her go.

They both sank to the ground, hugging each other tightly and crying tears of relief. They spent several minutes that way, before Alana spoke up, haltingly, “I’m so p-proud of you, Margot.” Margot replied, her voice muffled by Alana’s shoulder, “I don’t deserve it. I’m not fit to be loved. I’m dangerous, Alana, don’t you see?” Alana frowned, “Don’t say that, Margot! You deserve all the love in the world, especially because of the way you are. I will never stop loving you, no matter what!”

Margot’s crying softened, “I don’t deserve you. If it weren’t for you, I’d probably be dead. I don’t know what’s worse right now, living or dying. It’s too hard for me, Alana. If you stay with me, you’ll hate me. It’ll only hurt you more!”

Alana kissed Margot on the cheek, before looking into her eyes, “Hey. I’m with you, until the very end. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. I know it’s hard for you, and yes, it’s hard for me too, but we’re a team. I’m not going to let you die. Even now, I’m forcing you to live, aren’t I?”

Margot cracked a slight smile, “I guess so. I feel a little silly now. I guess my reaction was a bit much.” Her mood turned darker, “But I can’t promise you anything, Alana. I don’t know if it’ll happen again, but knowing me, it will. Maybe even worse next time. I’ve been like this for so long. I don’t think I could ever stop.”

Alana spoke, “I know, Margot. But whether or not you’re able to overcome this, I’ll still be here. You can’t do anything to drive me away. My love for you is stronger than you think.”

Margot sighed, knives and turmoil forgotten. She wished she could lie in Alana’s arms forever. Alana’s promises were infinitely sweeter than those of Margot’s sharp friends, but there was still an ongoing war within Margot that she would be hard pressed to win. But for now, she was content to hold her princess… at least until she had to get up again.

She groaned. She was never moving if she could help it! With that, Margot slowly fell asleep, as Alana smiled.

“Sweet dreams, my queen.”


End file.
